It’s still 2011! I neglected the other day to wish you a Happy Second-To-Last New Year!
Yes, you heard me – this will be the world’s last full year, since obviously everyone knows that the world will be ending in 2012. I’ll start stocking up on Cheez Whiz, Spam, and bottled water just in case I somehow survive the Apocalypse.
I just found out thanks to The Christian Post (btw, Christian Post is NOT the long-lost brother of Markie Post of Night Court and Fall Guy fame, believe it or not) that all religions are scams. They are reporting on a billboard put up by American Atheists (AA), bet whoever came up with a group with those initials must have been drunk at the time! Anyway, have a gander below.
The billboard went up in Huntsville, AL (home of Space Camp and, coincidentally enough, the movie SpaceCamp) and declares something I’ve always suspected. The whole religion thing is just a scam.
I take this to mean that religions don’t really exist! That’s a HUGE relief because I used to think people really believed in religions. I should have known that no one in their right mind would believe the reason women have their periods is because some four-legged talking snake convinced some naked couple to eat an apple some 6000-7000 years ago. Or that God helped some crazy dude unearth golden plates written in ancient Egyptian just outside Manchester, NY that could only be translated by a stone in a magic hat. I could go on, but you get the gist.
It all must have been some elaborate Onion-esque parody all along. They really got me. It’s a relief to know that in the 21st century, civilization doesn’t really have entire organizations dedicated to serving imaginary spirits anymore. That would be pretty depressing.
According to American Atheists, “Let’s face it: religion tells a good story [...] You will never really die, and due to your involvement in (insert religion here) you will benefit for eternity. [...] Some know it’s a scam, yet defend religion because they like the lies. They like the fraud.”
Since The Christian Post is reporting this, I’m assuming they’re finally coming clean and admitting Christianity was a fraud all along. They did their best, but the gig is up now.
Just in case I somehow misunderstood the original article, though, you might want to check it out here. I tend not to read past the first sentence or two of any article, but hopefully you are more conscientious a reader than am I.
I have to get going now see if they have some Night Court reruns on NetFlix. That gentle giant Bull never ceases to crack me up!
Unknown Atheist signing off!