The World Didn’t End!

Let me be the first to wish you a Happy New Year! If you’re like me and have been in a month-long eggnog-induced coma after prematurely drowning my sorrows on Dec. 21, 2012 for what I thought was going to be the end of the world, then today is the exciting start of the new year.

Apparently bill collectors got the memo that the world didn’t end. I would say “God damn” them, except that I don’t believe in God or Hell. Perhaps I should reconsider…┬áSo anyway, I’ll have to keep this post short because like a video game hero fighting legions of monsters, my power run out at any minute.

But never fear, my faith-free readers. After searching through the cushions (which look nothing like the one below) for loose change, I will be back before the new end-of-the-world scare to bring you up-to-the-month news and related hilarity.

Goodbnye (God be NOT with ye) for now!

Jesus cushion


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